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“Strong and resilient in the face of the most devastating storm in a century.”

That was the headline of a recent letter I received from Eastlink, the local cable monopoly here in Halifax. As anyone who lives here would know, Hurricane Juan blew this city right on its ass last September 29 and most of our services—including power, telephone and cable—went down faster than cripples trying to walk at a faith-healing service as fallen trees tore through electrical lines and uprooted power poles. Some of us were lucky, escaping major damage and having our services restored within a day or two. Others…well, not so lucky.

When my wife and I bought our home last spring we called Eastlink to install digital cable, high-speed internet and telephone services. We did the bundle thing they are always promoting, thinking we were being smart by combining three charges into one easy bill. And their telephone service looked appealing since it came with features that you had to pay extra for with Aliant. And Aliant, as we all know, is the devil incarnate.

Fine. Everything was cool except for some billing fiascos that still get me bitter if I start talking about them after a few beers.

The first thing they did to rub me the wrong way was increase their bundle price an extra $5.00 a month. Did this result in any noticeable change in my services? Of course not; it was just the bi-annual customer gouge that all service companies, especially ones with monopolies, force upon their customers to show how much their business is “appreciated”. So we hemmed and hawed and swore up and down and in the end we just signed the check, threw it in the mail, and sat back down to watch TV. The typical Canadian response.

But after the Hurricane swept through and we spent several hours without power sitting in the dark, with no TV or high-speed internet to keep us occupied and out of the social loop, we started calling around to see how all of our friends and family were doing. In the process we discovered something interesting about Eastlink’s telephone service. Apparently, when your power goes off, so does your phone service. Hmmm, don’t remember hearing that one in the sales pitch.

I called their Customer Support using my cell and here is an approximate transcript of that conversation (from memory):

ME: Yeah, uh, it seems as if my phone isn’t working. It was working earlier today but now there isn’t any dial tone.

CSR: Is your power still off?

ME: Yeah…(wondering what this has to do with it)

CSR: Well, when the power goes off there’s only a few hours of generator storage to keep the lines going. When your power comes back on you’ll be able to use your phone.

ME: I see. So if we have an emergency we have to use a cell?

CSR: (exact words) ‘Fraid so.

What the hell? I expected at least a “sorry for the inconvenience” or a “we know this is an inconvenience for you and we’re working hard to get things working again” or maybe even a “we value your business and we appreciate your patience, so please bear with us as we work through this disaster.” But no, not even a hint of apology or empathy.

What if we didn’t have a cell phone? What if our battery died out and there was no way to charge it? What if my wife or myself had a medical emergency and were unable to call out for help, not because the 911 system was down but because Eastlink did not have the proper infrastructure in place to deal with a disaster? These and other questions got my bile into a good, steady boil.

Our power was restored Monday evening but we still had to wait until late afternoon on Tuesday for our cable-related stuff, but after hearing the horror stories of others out there I can’t complain about that. But then this letter from Eastlink arrives. And I remember thinking that at last, here was the apology and customer appreciation I was looking for. But no. It was just an arrogant boast of how great they are and how prepared they were and how hard they worked to restore services and how we should all be so damn grateful to have them.

In fact, it takes them the entire first page of the 1 and 1/2 page letter to finally stop stroking themselves and turn to us, the paying customer, and say “…(you) gave us your patience and understanding. Thank you.” That is literally the last line on the first page. On the second page they have their hand back down the front of their pants again, bragging about their “network for tomorrow”.

Not my tomorrow. Instead of telling us how fantastic you are, why not take two seconds to beg your valued customers for forgiveness? You left several of us stranded without a telephone, probably the most essential service in times of crisis. How many seniors hoped they wouldn’t have a medical emergency while you ran about trying to fix your obviously inferior network? How many important calls got missed because the other end of the line was dead due to your poor planning and preparation? That letter’s opening line about resilience and strength belongs to the citizens of Halifax, not you.

I realize that Juan caught most of us with our pants around our ankles. I know it screwed things up royally for you and other service companies. I understand you had several generators stolen as you tried to patch the lines and keep the power going. But by being arrogant and almost defiant about it you don’t foster good customer relations. All you needed to do was express a sincere apology and explain what you are going to do to ensure that something like this doesn’t happen again. Instead it appears as if Eastlink is yet another company with an unapologetic, take-it-or-leave-it attitude towards their customers.

For my part, I’m likely going to switch to Aliant for my phone service and get rid of the digital cable in favor of satellite. The internet? Well, can’t really live without that service so I guess we’ll still be seeing a bit of each other. Kinda like those bitterly divorced couples who still have to bump into each other at parties or share custody of the children. I know this probably doesn’t mean anything to a super service provider like Eastlink, who is so “resilient” and a “network for tomorrow” but it makes me feel better—something they never seemed willing to do.