Poor neglected Satan
Every week it seems like another person finds a religious image, usually the face of Mother Mary or Jesus, ingrained on a piece of wood or scorched into a sandwich. Now we have Satan getting into the act, apparently upset with all the attention the other two have been getting:
Pet store owner: Satan’s image on turtle’s shell (CNN)
The owner of the pet store, who I assume to be a decent fellow with at least half of a functioning brain, gives us this explanation:
“The marking on the shell was like the devil wanted us to know he was down there,” Bryan Dora said. “To me, it’s too coincidental that the only thing to come out unscathed would have this image on it.’”
Ah, of course. Satan was just down there pacing in hell, wringing his hands in frustration, wondering how he could best let us know he was still a threat capable of wreaking evil havoc in the world. What better way to remind us of what a badass he is than by emblazoning his blurry likeness onto the back of a pet-store turtle?
I might have thought that the recent school shootings in Minnesota would be a better example. Or maybe the corpse lined streets of Baghdad. Or maybe the abduction, rape and brutal murder of an innocent 9 year old girl in Florida. But nah, that’s childplay compared to this. It’s a friggin’ turtle, man! (shudder)
Someone should tell Mr. Dora there is also a boogieman under his bed who might grab his feet if they slip outside the covers.